Once in a while, a publication asks who the greatest American of our lifetime is. And while Cracked would never presume to answer that question, we absolutely can. Is it Zombie Teddy Roosevelt? The puppeteer who made Ronald Reagan come alive? Former San Antonio Spurs center David Robinson?
Brian Bahr/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Strong contenders,
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If you’re from some country that doesn’t have puppets and never heard of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, it’s OK! He loves you anyway. In fact, he’d want to introduce you to all of us so we could learn from you. So go tell us something wonderful about your people in the comments.
As for the rest of us, here are amazing videos of Mr. Rogers that prove Tom Junod’s Esquire profile of him accounts for his greatness in the grime of the real world. Go ahead, read it. It is the only permissible instance of the phrase "[Mr. Rogers’] bobbing nudity."
All set? At my signal, take off those ironic smirks and don your extra strength smiles, because your faith in human beings is about to get an upgrade.
5. He Gave All of Himself to Strangers
Imagine for a second how many letters Mr. Rogers got in a day. He was neighbor to 13.6 million kids, and by the time they were too old to watch his show, they’d been replaced by 13.76 million kids. Every day, America 5 Under waited for Mr. Rogers to come in and don one of his trademark sweaters.
Therefore, you may find it unbelievable that Mr. Rogers answered all of his fan mail,
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(Those sweaters, by the way, were all made for him by his mom, just so you know how wonderful the Rogers family is.)
The amount of free time that man had in the day could be measured in hummingbird heartbeats. But he sincerely believed that each of us is special and interesting. He knew that the real world is not like the Neighborhood, and he wanted people to be able to carry its lessons with them.
In lieu of video of his penmanship,
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Answering that much mail is a Sisyphean task, but if Mr. Rogers were pushing a boulder up a hill, I guarantee it would end with the boulder tearfully admitting that it had been abandoned by its father. Because when Mr. Rogers undertakes an impossible task, that task had better start writing its last will and testament.
The only person who gets more mail from kids than Mr. Rogers is Santa Claus, and Mr. Rogers didn’t have to bribe them with toys to receive it. He just generally wanted to know if you were doing well. And Santa doesn’t answer his fan mail, so we’re giving this one to Fred Rogers.
See,
Where Can We Buy The Air Jordan 4 Black Cement 2012, the thing of it all . the real thing that makes him amazing is not that he was so impossibly good; there are people like that out there in the world. It’s that he was so impossibly real. He was aware of his image, but it wasn’t something he maintained. Off camera,
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4. Nature Itself Recognized His Greatness
Naturally, everyone loved him,
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"Love YOU,
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Wait, sorry, that’s the kind of joke I would normally make. But we’re all the same. I know this because Mr. Rogers taught me to see it in others.
Well, the animal kingdom itself bent down to praise him. That’s only happened to three other people: Jesus,
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Moreover, and Bambi. Truly, this was a great man. He tamed a wild animal with the power of love.
3. He Found Delight in Little Things
Mr. Rogers was 143 pounds his entire adult life, and back in a time when we wore magical devices on our belts called pagers, that number was how drug dealers told each other "I love you." You know who invented that letter counting code? Mr. Rogers, in the episode "Transformations":
According to Esquire,
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Now this seems like nothing more than an adorable quirk. But what it implies is that here’s a man who made a decision to be healthy and happy.
Nobody can maintain the same exact weight for 30 years, let alone 143 pounds. That’s approximately how much the average left thigh weighs in America. In cities with a great barbecue scene, you’ll find pigeons that weigh more than that. And Mr. Rogers loved them,
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But it wasn’t just a little cute thing. Apparently this was a thing Mr. Rogers was known to do, like when he started signing letters to a reporter "IPOY," or "I’m proud of you."
That annoying text shorthand that makes previously respectable people sound like robots that have been hit by cars is actually a fine tradition started by a man you respect. In the Neighborhood, everything means something,
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And now you see that the problem was you or if not you, then the world’s English majors, our nation’s richest source of SMS snobs. Now that you have seen the face of Mr. Rogers in the heart of everyone you speak with, you realize it’s the message,
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