This is the beginning of "the wings that are served with celery". Why the celery you ask? Fuck if I know, They say it helps calm the taste buds as they begin to burn. I personally think it is a meager attempt to offset the endless amount of fryer grease and ranch dressing that preceeded the only bite you take of this stringy crunchy, tasteless fucking plant. Nevertheless this wing is spicy if you eat several but you can still look cool by not chugging your water.

One bite and your thinking about taking a shit in the morning. Meanwhile your smartass buddy is commenting on how this thing should be on the kid’s menu. After about 3 your starting to look around for the waitress because your water is half empty and your doing WING MATH in your head .

(1/2 glass of water = 2 of these hot bastards)

Your buddy keeps sayin "Are you sweating? You pussy!" Your beginning to eat the celery trying to convince your friends you grew up eating it interrupted only by yourself sayin "Have you guys seen the waitress?"

As they set these on the table you immediatley are short of breath. Your eyes start to water and you get a blister on your fucking thumb just holding one. You bite another and the tongue wakes up and instructs the brain to tell your hand to let fucking go and lets get out of here. You briefly wonder how your buddy can take it and you notice Macho has left him, He is crying and eating the celery wrapped in a wet napkin.

Level 5: Sasquatch Wing

There is no level 5, There are extremists that will argue but I reserve that the level 5 hot wing is the same as a Sasquatch. People say it exists, But I have not seen one. I have heard people tell tales of how hot the wings are "back home". Back home? Where the fuck is home? The depths of Hell? There is a point in the HotWing heiarchy where flavor is sacrificed for heat and yet heat is sacrificed for bragging rights kind of heat but then what? Pure fucking retardation may be they only way Level 5 is ever reached but how can it be verified?

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