Like many people,
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Enjoy Big Discount Jordan 11 Georgetown Low For Sale Shoes, I’ve done a stint in the army. It has always amused me how much the two have in common. Almost all aspects of military life are just advanced versions of the whole "little boys playing in a tree house" phase: They’re both characterized by an extreme fondness for toys, getting utterly creeped out by the prettier sex, and spending an increasing amount of time playing video games.
Nowhere is this more evident than in the field of weapon design. When you venture beyond the obvious things that go bang and boom, you’ll find an array of non lethal weapons that appear to draw their inspiration directly from the mind of a child,
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5. Sticky FoamA logical (I’m using the word pretty loosely here) extension of a school kid’s natural instinct to rub gum on other kids’ hair, sticky foam is an absurdly cartoonish crowd control weapon that has been on and off the military table for almost two decades, presumably because even the Pentagon an institution that has no problem greenlighting flying murder robots can’t fully get over the absurdity of the stuff. But they want to. Oh,
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Presented with the opportunity to shoot their enemies with sticky Lovecraft turds, 9 out of 10 generals
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Juggling Jesus on a unicycle, look at that thing! It’s what happened to your He Man figures if you left them unattended in the same room with your little brother and his Play Doh. When you look for non violent means of crowd control, the question you need to ask is always: "What would the nearest fictional ultra militant law enforcement officer do?"
Of course, the main problem with the original sticky foam was not its comic book roots it was flat out useless. People could move their legs faster than they could be sprayed with the stuff,
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Still, don’t think for a second that they’ve completely abandoned the sticky stuff. If anything, they’re thinking bigger. The current plan is to use a slightly upgraded version of the foam for stopping vehicles, and also there’s this fucking thing:
According to some critics, the Navy’s Jell O budget is somewhat overblown.
That, friends,
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Official Site Jordan 11 Georgetown You Can Save a Lot Here, an inspired weapon proposition that is known for combining a number of existing technologies to create a new, ultra efficient one,
Welcome To Buy Georgetown 11s Low Cheap Price Cozy Quality, and also for being called the goddamn Slimeball. Air Force’s Air Command and Staff College, the Slimeball takes elements of sticky foam and other technologies (including baby diapers and shaving cream,
Here Is Our Online Georgetown 11s Low Shop With Confidence, because why not?) and abuses them to create a mass of viscous gel that is capable of fucking up a boat something awful. The weapon is specifically meant as a non lethal means of dealing with Somali pirates and other modern maritime annoyances, but come on the second we manage to build a goddamn Slimeball cannon is the second everything is officially a video game. Frankly, I’m disappointed if they don’t build that thing and make Whitehurst fight Mega Man with it.
4. Mobility Denial SystemThe joy of sliding is an often underrated one for adults, but for kids of a certain age, that shit is the equivalent of crack cocaine. Show them a freshly waxed floor or a patch of ice,
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Then they grow up and start to weaponize that shit.
Anti traction gel ranks on the same sliding "fuck you,
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Mobility Denial System which I’m kind of tempted to call Slippy Lube from now on because nooooo, that’s a hanky panky reference, watch out for cooties is essentially a non hazardous gel that makes whatever it’s sprayed on temporarily as slippery as ice. The gel can be applied from a large car mounted cannon or a Ghostbusters style backpack system,
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3. LED IncapacitatorI don’t know what the score is with kids today, but back when I was a boy,
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Here’s the thing about awesome childhood memories like that: Some people grow up and start turning them into reality. Yes, I’m saying someone actually weaponized a fucking flashlight, and no, this sadly doesn’t mean that someone duct taped an ax to one. Meet the LED Incapacitator:
You just know that at least one person has been hospitalized for mistaking it for a tiny tanning bed for your dick.
The Incapacitator is to normal flashlights what Batman is to the average dude: It functions in more or less the same way, only it can kick your ass from here to next Wednesday. The light it (the Incapacitator, not Batman) emits is extremely strong and can be unleashed in a variety of different colors and light pulse combinations. These are calibrated to mess with the subject’s eyes and brain in a way that can induce various sensations that range from vertigo to vomit inducing nausea, in a careful feat of engineering that draws inspiration from humanity’s innate hatred of disco.
"Got your light show right here,
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The current status of the device is something of a mystery it definitely does work, but it has been in development hell for a few years now. The company in charge of the project has stated that the final version should be as portable as current professional flashlights, but if necessary can be upgraded to a "light bazooka" that can hold control over significant crowds. As supervillain y as that may sound,
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