I recently found myself in the great white North,
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Get it now? I really shouldn’t have to spell these things out for you,
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Yes,
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Jordan Low 11 Bred Gs For Sale, so it wasn’t a problem. Also, I was told there were plenty of other attractions so I set out for two days of Banff’s banffiest best.

And that’s when everything fell apart. My mini vacation was besieged by numerous maladies. How many? Well, five. Five maladies. That’s why this is a five entry list. Geez,
Pre Order Bred Low 11s Retro Og iv80, I thought the Batman thing was bad. Work with me, here. So here are five things that can ruin any vacation:

5. Health

Any vacation can be undone by an ill timed malady. Getting dysentery in Mexico,
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Y’see, before heading to Banff, I had some Calgary business to attend to namely doing a guest set at Calgary’s Yuk Yuk’s on Saturday night and making Gillian Anderson fall in love with me at an X Files panel on Sunday morning. Unfortunately, just before I got on stage,
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5 bad things I let my kids do, eye strain,
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Looking for information, Alberta is DRY. Super dry. Like Adam Tod Brown Prom Date dry. (Just kidding,
Retro Jordan 11 Bred Low Og Pre Order kb70, Adam didn’t go to prom.) So, yes, I went on stage (thanks to the very funny Amanda Perrin) and did my set to a bunch of Calgarians, even though my eye looked like this:

Incidentally, I also made an ass of myself at Yuk Yuk’s by complaining about my condition to headliner Darryl Lenox, unaware he was suffering far greater eye maladies. (Thank you for not beating me to death, Darryl).

By Sunday, the condition had only gotten worse. My eyes no longer lined up as revealed by this photo of me.

Due to this eye condition (and ONLY because of this condition) Gillian decided not spend the next two days with me in Banff. I mean,
Air Jordan Bred 11s Gs For Sale, what else could it be? Like Duchovny, I’m an Ivy League educated English major from the Northeast, whose slightly prominent nose only accentuates his Semetic good looks. But unlike Duchovny,
Pre Order Retro Jordan Low 11 Bred af38, I’m 10 years younger and 6 inches shorter, so Gillian wouldn’t have to strain her neck during stand up make out sessions. Seemed like a pretty flawless pick up plan to me. Anyway,
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By Monday,
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Air Jordan Bred Low 11s Retro Pre Order tx28, because I have the strength of 10 men (and no legal right to remain in my Calgary hotel) I headed off to Banff. I drove the one and a half hours with my right eye closed. And even though I was already risking my life with the distractions of impaired vision and a freakish GPS that insisted on giving me directions in nonsensical "kilometers" and "meters," I was so struck by Banff’s approaching beauty that I had to snap pics.

4. Weather

Weather,
Air Jordan Bred 11s Og, much like YouTube comments,
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Either snow or one of those mythical Canadian giants came down with serious dandruff,
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Yep,
Jordan Low 11 Bred Retro Og rz31, an unseasonable amount of snow. No one expected it. It was the start of May. Days earlier, I was wearing a T Shirt in Calgary. Visibility was shit, and as badass I am,
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TTC fails when trains don, there was no way I could deal with one eye and a snow storm. My first day was confined to the hotel at Buffalo Mountain Lodge,
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3,
Cheap Bred 11s. Bad Planning

Now any fun vacation needs lots of proper planning. The kind of planning I don’t enjoy. The kind of planning I don’t do, and, of course, the kind of a planning I should have done. I packed for Canada like a New Yorker visiting some region northwest of his home. Wait. That’s not really a metaphor. I packed as poorly as I just crafted that sentence. But maybe my lack of a hat,
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Retro Bred 11s Gs,
Jordan 11 Low Bred Pre Order cl18, and boots wouldn’t be a problem. After all, the next morning, the snow stopped, and the sun came out!

Either that or that giant changed shampoos.

I thought I’d partake in the wonderful Banffy snowshoeing in the lovely Lake Louise area. For some reason,
Bred Low 11s For Sale zi95, it didn’t occur to me that you’d need snow boots for that. In my mind,
Air Jordan Bred Low 11s For Sale, I guess, the snowshoe was the shoe. So I couldn’t do that. Well, I could, but my guide explained that while Banff snowshoeing is a super fun experience,
Air Jordan Bred 11s Low Retro, it’s less fun when you lose most of your toes to frostbite after a three hour walking tour.

Pictured above,
Cheap Jordan 11 Bred Low Retro Gs pg05. Someone who can pack without mom’s help.

Undaunted,
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Pre Order Air Jordan Low 11 Bred Retro Gs, I took a drive and snapped more pics, which is pretty much the same thing as hiking, right? I mean, I’ve always said that the automobile is nature’s legs and the camera is nature’s eyeballs.

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