In recent months, some particularly vicious critics have challenged the truth of my best selling memoir,
Sito web per Uomini Nike Free Run 3 Nero Argento Bianco Risparmia il 61% fuori e trasporto libero, Horse Cock: A Life In 27 Inches. These accusations cut me deeply. Horse Cock is a memoir, the true story of my life. Condemning it isn’t just attacking my writing it’ attacking my life itself.

The New York Times has published extensive refutations of 322 of the 325 pages of Horse Cock, citing hundreds of eyewitnesses who vehemently disagree with my interpretation of the events described. Let me just say this in my defense I guess I remember things differently. History will judge me. History and the 43 individual lawsuits I’m currently facing.

But there is one truly vile accusation that I simply can’t ignore by burying my head in a pillow stuffed with mescaline. It’ perhaps the most serious one because it challenges the foundation on which my entire life is built. The accusation is this that I do not in fact have a 27 inch horse cock.

Until six months ago,
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It’ well known among music industry insiders that the majority of female recording artists keep a full grown wolverine inside their vaginas at all times. This fad was started by Fiona Apple in the early 1930s,
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Now,
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The encounter will be documented on Ashlee’ next album, in the song "My Vagina,
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At the time, this wasn’t a problem after all, anything above 16 inches technically qualifies as a horse cock, so I had a good 3 inches of leeway.

But then I got into a knife fight with the President of Iran. You see, I was on a top secret diplomatic mission in Tehran when my squadron was captured and tortured mostly getting slathered with honey and pelted with wasp nests, nothing unmanageable. But to save my squadron I was forced to duel with Iran’ crazed President, Mamoud Ahmadinejad.

We were both stripped nude and given butterfly knives,
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Not to worry,
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But this noble duel cost me dearly at 10 inches I no longer technically had a horse cock. It was more like, I don’t know, a donkey cock.

Still, 10 inches pretty sweet. Or at least it was,
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I learned two important things on that trip. One,
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Two,
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Suffice it to say, lesson learned.

Well,
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My point being,
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For many of my fans this revelation may be upsetting. But please keep in mind that at 6 inches,
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I may have lost 21 inches,
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By purchasing this memoir, you’ve seen beyond the tyranny of facts and allowed me to penetrate the moist, gaping vagina that is your mind with a rock hard 27 inch horse cock of partially embellished semi truth. For that I thank you, my publisher thanks you,
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